Welcome to my site! My first blog has been deleted for personal reasons. I believe that no matter what I have been through in life, I need to be writing and telling of the healing process. We all know how to be sad, down, out, blue, angry, anxious, depressed, etc. My life began just a few years ago. The focus now is gearing up for my future. Not the past, not the pain, not sexual abuse, not abandonment by my mother time & time again, not the physical abuse I endured from her, not the sexual abuse growing up…. not the drugs, not the alcohol, not the men, not the sex, not the rock and roll and certainly it wasn’t about being someone I wasn’t. All my life I have pretended I knew everything. Because, in essence, I knew nothing. My childhood consists of a scantly handful of good memories. BUT, they are there now. I suppressed a lot of bad things so far and for so long, I suppressed the few good things I wanted to hold onto. Recovery through my faith in Jesus Christ has changed my life through focus and goal setting and by believing in myself again. So no more whining. I’m a full time college student living on social security disability and it’s a challenge that takes a positive attitude that gets better day by day 🙂 > My blogging will be about the changes I face daily from college life, living with BPD and health issues, dealing with medicare, to wondering what I’m doing, coursework, bad advising, planning and dreaming for the future.